Talking About Your Sex Addiction



Honest self-disclosure with someone is never an easy thing, whether it be to someone close to you or someone on the outside. Talking to someone about an addiction, and in particular, a sexual addiction, is extremely tough, but the end result is the help needed to overcome the addiction. While it sounds incredibly daunting and overwhelming, it can be accomplished in several steps.


Admitting it to Yourself

The first step in talking about your sexual addiction to receive the help you need is admitting the problem to yourself. Thinking about how the addiction affects your life and your mental health will help motivate change. Admitting the addiction to yourself is the first step because once you understand your addiction, you can help someone else to understand it as well. This will make it easier for them to help you and for you to help yourself.


Talking About the Addiction with Your Partner                                                                                


If you have a significant other in your life, it is important to trust him or her with your weaknesses. Because having a sexual addiction can impact all areas of your life (sex drive, mental health, preferences, fidelity, etc.) it is necessary to let your partner in on the problem if there is going to be any recovery, and if the relationship is to remain intact. This is probably the most uncomfortable and/or painful step in the process and could be a risk to the relationship itself, but the talk and healing will be worth the risk. Let your S.O. know the details that are important to understanding your perspective, and let them know that you know you need help. If they are responding well to the talk, you can even ask for their help in keeping you accountable on your journey to recovery.

Keep in mind that, depending on your particular area(s) of weakness, your partner might be very emotionally hurt and have feelings of betrayal. If this is the case, it is important to let him or her know how much they mean to you and that they are at least part of the reason you are seeking help. You may be pleasantly surprised by how your partner responds to your self-disclosure, but you must prepare for the worst and attempt to understand their side of things. Understanding and communication are key in every relationship.


Getting Help   


There are many different forms of help out there for recovering addicts to choose from. Deciding which is right for you is easier when you know yourself. Counseling/therapy is a great place to talk about it, and it is important to find counselors/therapists who handle addictions often, or who list that as their area of expertise. Another great form of help could be in group therapy or couples therapy. The latter would be good if your S.O. is unable to handle the information or needs help understanding you or understanding how to help you.

No matter which form of help you decide to take, it will be beneficial. Voicing your weaknesses and admitting that you need help will in itself help you push past your addiction. With something as damaging as a sexual addiction, it is vital that you receive mental health care from a professional. Behavioral therapy can be extremely helpful in overcoming addiction. The therapists will help you think and act/react differently in a way that creates lasting, healthy habits as well as getting rid of negative thought processes that can act as triggers for the problem behavior(s).

No matter how hard it is to do so, getting help with an addiction starts with talking. Uncomfortable as it may be, communication can save the future you want and need.